PRESIDENTIAL CLOVER-PLANTING TIPS!

[jeffery1493]

GREETINGS, TTU VIEWERS!

Are you like me, and see your yard this spring as a dog-trampled, lifeless weed-peppered desert?
No matter what the size of your yard (as you can see, we have the standard-issue 'Postage Stamp' size) your Temporary Union President knows it can be very frustrating dealing with doggie feet, year after year. Its seems nothing will grow, not even those expensive "Stepables(TM)" they sell for top-dollar at Lowes, Menards, Home Depot, etc.
With two dogs inhabiting this small yard, the weekly pounding it receives, along with the heavy shade from overhanging trees, is quite enough to kill just about any lawnage that might survive there.




However- not to worry! . Your President got a tip a few years ago from an old pirate (named Captain Scrod) who found the perfect solution to the over-trampled, heavily shady yard. Clover! Yes, plant a Clover Yard.

GO FROM THIS:



TO THIS:



Its a little-known fact in the U.S. Midwest (although perhaps better known in the New England areas) that clover lawns were the lawns of choice, before Evil Grass Seed Companies convinced us that a grass lawn (a much more labor-intensive achievement, involving endless purchasing of grass seed, weed-killers, fertilizers, lawn mowers, gas, etc) is the preferred option.

Unfortunately for Capitalism, a Clover Yard is still well within your reach (shhhh! you won't hear it on any commercials) and virtually maintenance-free. White clover only grows about mow-height, so a pure clover yard never needs mowing. Also due to a little trick of nature, clover generates is own nitrogen, so it self-fertilizes, never needing Scotts to be paid to come and visit. Finally, clover is a fierce turf-builder and tends to choke out weeds....without needing weed killers.

Sound like a dream come true? Okay, well, there are a couple drawbacks. First, those little clover-flowers attract bees.
At least that's the urban legend I've been told. Although I've had a clover lawn several years now, and haven't really seen any out there yet.
Second, a clover lawn is not always as drought-tolerant as some grass varieties like Fescue. So, get out your sprinkler occasionally. If your yard is shady, this is not as much a problem.
Third, the lawn looks bare first thing in the spring, cause the clover dies off in winter and has to pop back up again, just like plants in your garden and weeds do. At least, that's the case with my yard.....but thats probably partially due to intense doggy-pounding. Aside from these three 'setbacks', I can't think of any others- please write in/respond if you have any to share.

Now... Let's say for argument's sake, you haven't been scared off by these dire clover Terror-Alert warnings, and want to give a clover lawn a try.
What kind of clover should I use? How do I plant?
First and foremost, you must use Dutch White Clover. This is the type of clover that grows short, springs up perennial and spreads out carpet-style. Other varieties (Red, for instance) become bushes....this is a no-no. You can recognize Dutch White Clover from its little round leaves with a "V" stamped on each leaf, like so:




Planting a clover yard is easy. Simply pick up a bag of Dutch White from your local Farm & Fleet, Big-R, Bucheits, or farm supply store. Your Pres is shown here with a 3lb bag. Its a little more expensive than normal clover (about $5 a lb around here) but well worth the extra cost.



Cast the clover seedlings (they are as small as sand grains) all over your yard evenly. No need to sow, prepare the soil, fertilize, or any such "lawn work". Clover is tough, all it needs is water and sunshine (like normal plants that grow all on their own, even after you spray them with weed-killer, remember??)



From this point on, all you have to do is keep the ground wet. Water your yard once per day for at least a week or more, until the cloverlings pop up and their roots get firmly established. The tiny cloverlings will come up with one clover leaf each (how cute!?) then later pop out 3 and 4 leaf clovers..........4 leafers only if you are lucky. After a couple weeks, water and use the lawn as you normally would.
Oh, and keep those doggie lawn-stompers off the yard somewhere else until the clover darkens and gets matured a bit. Give it a chance to come up!



THATS IT! Now don't you feel foolish with all the hard work you put into your current lawn?
A clover yard isn't for everyone, but it worked for me. Also- dont forget you certainly can mix. Clover makes a great patch for hard-to-grow bare spots, or you can simply intersperse the clover in with your regular grass. Clover can't choke out grass like it does weeds, and the nitrogen it generates will fertilize the rest of your lawn.

Any questions?.......Applause?........Disagreements?.......Complaints?
Post them here.
I can't be laid off if you don't like my lawn (lol).............. thanks for reading!

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YOUR TEMPORARY PRESIDENT

[Karl Rove]

Captain Scrod himself planted my clover yard in the back, last year. Came back great from the winter. One word of warning: DON'T fertilize it. Since I have it interspersed with some grass, I spread some winterizer fertilizer down in December and it is growing like crazy - it can grow high if it is over-fed. Not a problem though, I just have to mow it down to size.